Here's how the test drive went:
The truck is idling. I know it's warm because it had just been driven for an hour from the tri-cities. I put it into low, give it a tiny bit of throttle, and slowly (some could even say cautiously) let the clutch out... and let the clutch out some more... and keep letting the clutch out... further and further... further than seems possible... further than any engineer could have possibly thought was a good idea... and just when I think the thing is going to keep coming out until it traps my foot between the pedal and the bottom of the dash... I hit the end of the travel...
...and then, after a long and pregnant pause, the truck slowly, gradually begins to move. That's when I finally identify the smell I first smelled when the guy opened the hood. The distinct, metallic, sintered smell of burned clutch.
Out on the road, it was painful (and noxious) to drive it at all. Anything more than 1/4 throttle in top gear (3rd or 4th, depending on if you want to call ratio #1 granny or first - the button on the transmission calls it gear L) and the engine would rev up without any noticeable change in speed -- at all -- ever.
Each gear shift was accompanied by a sickening period of time in which the engine would suggest a speed to the transmission; the transmission in turn rejecting the engine's suggested speed and requesting that the engine resubmit it's speed request. The engine would then resubmit it's speed request using form SR-125All2. That speed request then being sent to the transmission speed request review board for review and approval. The speed request review board would want more information, and send a Speed Request Review Appraisal Inquiry form (QRN-282-454N) to the engine by registered mail. Upon receipt of the QRN-282-454N, the engine would have to provide copies of three forms of identifications, fill out line 27B-"place of manufacture", and submit oil samples and all maintenance records. Once the review board then had the necessary documentation, it would approve only a partial speed change. The engine and transmission, tired of all this bureaucracy, would settle their differences, agree on their own shaky middle ground, and finally the speed of the truck would start to change.
Eventually.
All the while, the clutch torn between the two like a child in a messy divorce.
With the test drive over, and the truck now fully in my custody, the very first order of business was to fix the clutch! I took a quick look in the glove box. To my surprise, it actually had an original 1978 owner's manual. Let's see... clutch... clutch... clutch... Sure enough, there it was:
Right, so, first check free play. There is none. In fact, from what I can tell, the clutch isn't even half engaged when all the way out. It's a wonder the guy even made it from the Tri-Cities at all, and no wonder it smelled like burned clutch when he arrived. The last time I smelled that much clutch was the first time I went solo in my mom's Tauras SHO (a car which, incidentally, broke a half-shaft before wearing out its CV joints. I wonder how often that happens). So, it seemed, I was about to get a crash course in clutch adjustment.
Usually, when faced with a mechanical problem, I use the following patented "Mechanical Expert's Field Guide to All Repairs Automotive" flow chart.
and finally, if absolutely all else fails:
n). Wait for my wife to start threatening to take it to someone who's actually qualified to repair it...
...at which point I revert back to a). and work my way down again.
***
With the test drive over, and the truck now fully in my custody, the very first order of business was to fix the clutch! I took a quick look in the glove box. To my surprise, it actually had an original 1978 owner's manual. Let's see... clutch... clutch... clutch... Sure enough, there it was:
"Clutch adjustment should be checked and adjusted periodically as necessary to compensate for clutch facing wear. To check, depress pedal by hand until resistance is felt. Free travel should be approximately one to one and a half inches; if very little or no free travel is evident, clutch adjustment is required."-1978 Chevrolet Light Duty Truck (gasoline) owner's and driver's manual. p. 2-17
Right, so, first check free play. There is none. In fact, from what I can tell, the clutch isn't even half engaged when all the way out. It's a wonder the guy even made it from the Tri-Cities at all, and no wonder it smelled like burned clutch when he arrived. The last time I smelled that much clutch was the first time I went solo in my mom's Tauras SHO (a car which, incidentally, broke a half-shaft before wearing out its CV joints. I wonder how often that happens). So, it seemed, I was about to get a crash course in clutch adjustment.
Usually, when faced with a mechanical problem, I use the following patented "Mechanical Expert's Field Guide to All Repairs Automotive" flow chart.
It goes as follows:
a). Call my dad.
b). Poke around to see if anything is obvious.
c). Do a search on the internet.
d). Look in a service manual (if I have one).
Then, as an absolute worst case scenario, I;
e). Call my dad again.
f). Do another internet search.
g). Bang on the problem area with a wrench or other suitable tool.
h). See what the vehicle would go for on kelly blue book, nada, craigslist, and/or ebay.
i). Give up for a few days.
j). Spray it with WD40.
k). Consider reclassifying it as a parts vehicle.
l). Check to see if it's magically repaired itself.
m). Purchase a case of Vernors™ as a bargaining tool in my third attempt to bribe my Dad into helping me.
a). Call my dad.
b). Poke around to see if anything is obvious.
c). Do a search on the internet.
d). Look in a service manual (if I have one).
Then, as an absolute worst case scenario, I;
e). Call my dad again.
f). Do another internet search.
g). Bang on the problem area with a wrench or other suitable tool.
h). See what the vehicle would go for on kelly blue book, nada, craigslist, and/or ebay.
i). Give up for a few days.
j). Spray it with WD40.
k). Consider reclassifying it as a parts vehicle.
l). Check to see if it's magically repaired itself.
m). Purchase a case of Vernors™ as a bargaining tool in my third attempt to bribe my Dad into helping me.
and finally, if absolutely all else fails:
n). Wait for my wife to start threatening to take it to someone who's actually qualified to repair it...
...at which point I revert back to a). and work my way down again.
It's only failed me seven times, but that's another story...
On this day, because I was watching the kids, and because the weather was crummy (overcast), I skipped right to step c). and took to the internet.
On this day, because I was watching the kids, and because the weather was crummy (overcast), I skipped right to step c). and took to the internet.
I can now say, with absolute certainty, that if I ever become the proud owner of a 1970-1974 Chevrolet Malibu, a 1967-1972 Chevy or GMC Truck, or any year of BBC equipped El Camino, I will be able to adjust its non-hydraulic clutch with ease. Unfortunately, I don't have any of those... yet.
So much for the internet.
Working backwards, that evening I reverted to step b). and crawled under the old beast. To my surprise, there it was - a long, threaded shaft with two nuts: one for adjusting, and the other for locking the adjustment. A quick trip to the garage for some wrenches, and within five minutes, I was adjusting away. Not more than half an hour later, clutch resistance was felt at one and one quarter inches of travel. Perfect. Now for the test.
I knew when I started it one of two things one going to happen.
1.) The clutch would be toast, regardless of adjustment,
or
2.) by some miracle of science and sheer over-engineering on the part of a certain GM engineer in a drafting room in 1973, the 'two years of driving it this way' that the clutch had endured would have somehow failed to destroy the non-asbestos, multi-layered friction material, and the clutch would still work.
I put the key in the ignition.
I pumped the gas pedal 2 and a half times to prime the carburetor (a trick I learned from my Dad).
I turned down the radio (Shana had driven it last on her maiden voyage).
I grasped the key.
I turned it...
...and the starter motor spooled up, but the engine didn't turn. Sounds like the starter has a bad solenoid, but that's for another day.
I tried it again.
This time the motor cranked, and then...
I once read this great article by Isaac Asimov about suspense and anticipation.
...the motor started.
Alright, it was time. The moment of truth. I put the clutch in, this time feeling like the properly adjusted piece of driving equipment it was supposed to be.
I moved the shifter into L (1st, or low, or granny or whatever...)
Slowly, tenderly, I let the clutch out...
...further and further...
...until about two inches out...
...and...
...the...
...truck started moving. Like a normal truck with a manual transmission.
"Good" I thought, "what's next on the list?"
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